Friday, August 22, 2008

Moving at the Speed of 40w




I. Can't. Sleep.

No, it isn't the book about vampires that I just finished, though I keep jumping at every sound and have turned on every light in the computer room (You know that does keep them away right? They hate the blaring light of a 40w bulb)(And never mind it is a book written for teenagers and is supposed to be a love story. I am still freaked out.)

No, it isn't my husband being in danger (unless the vampires ARE waiting under the bed like my mind keeps whispering) because he is home now.

And no, it isn't the excruciating pain that once held me captive at this time of night/morning.

I am popping Benedryl to aide in my sleep because I am moving in less than a week and I am not prepared for this at all. I am moving. In four days. Into a hotel. With three kids. And then out of the town I have known for the last four years. To move back into a hotel. Into a town where I know no one.

No, I can't sleep. And I should sleep because it will be the last few nights that I will have comfortable, private sleep in the house that I am used to. But, try to tell my mind that. Instead I am waiting for the soft blanket of Benedryl to cover me and lull me.

During the day I am the Happiest Mommy in the World! I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE! Man, where we are moving is the BEST place to be, so Mommy says to the little faces peering up at her when she tells them they can't go to their school's welcome back day. Because it isn't their school anymore.

Their Concerns:
-How will our friends come over if we are there and they are here?
-Will Santa find us?
-Will our toys come with us?
-Will Aidan (the one year old) come with us?
-Does it snow there?
-Can we chew gum there?

And Neurotic Happy Mommy chokes out answers with a big, dumb smile, practically screaming:

"WE'LL CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND MAYBE THEY WILL VISIT! HURRAH!"
"OF COURSE SANTA WILL FIND US! "___" IS HIS FAVORITE TOWN IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"
"YES! EVERY TOY IS COMING ALONG! WHOOPIE!"
"YES! EVERY BROTHER IS COMING ALONG! YIPPIE!"
"YES! IT SNOWS ALL THE TIME! WHOO HOO!"
"YES! PEOPLE LOVE CHEWING GUM THERE! WHOOPIDOO!"

So I wait for the Benedryl induced sleep. And I wait for the 40w bulb to burn out. And I keep my crazed happy face on for the kids. And in four days I will be moving on....sitting in a hotel lobby so I won't keep my entire family awake in the middle of the night. Maybe I will run into a few vampires to keep me company...








Monday, August 11, 2008

Weeks


Where have I been? What has taken me away from my rants and raves? Let me see....


The Last Two Weeks:



  • All three children have strep. YES! Another ten days of forcing thick, nasty antibiotics down their throats every twelve hours!



  • Hubby comes home...in the middle of the night! All of those hours of working out, getting my roots "done" (you ladies know), eyebrows plucked, lip waxed, the perfect outfits for me and the kids (a subtle mixture of red white and blues), sign ready to be held at the air field or airport....all that and he walks in at two in the morning to a wife sleeping, no make up, hair in a pony tail/bed head, no cute outfits for the kids, no signs, nothing. One child wakes up and is so freaked out by seeing her Daddy in the bedroom she gets a strange look on her face and starts clacking her teeth together. Said child is so freaked out for the next two hours, wife (me) has to go and sleep with her in guest room. Welcome home honey!!!



  • I get a letter from the Mammography department saying I need to come back in due to irregularities in the last mammogram. Yeah...I don't really have time for breast cancer right now. Ok...push that letter and all that it entails to the very very back of my brain.



  • Hubby flies to the next duty station place and tries to find us a house or at least shelter to live in for the next few years. (yes, four days after he came home). He calls three days later, we bought a house. Ohhhhhkaaaaay.



  • Throw my son his 5th birthday party (phase one). Continue to plan and execute my husband's surprise party that I have been planning for the last couple of months. 17 men coming in from all over the country to celebrate him.



  • Go back to hospital and get my boob squished again. Half hour later, they give me the green light. No worries....just some tissue. Good! No time for anything but tissues. Continue to plan and hide party from hubby.



  • Have party. Hubby very surprised. Guys go out and drink. Everyone happy. I get wife of the year award.


  • Have son's birthday party (phase 2). Host some more people at the house.


  • Start packing for vacation.


The Next Two Weeks:



  • Go on our vacation. Have fun-- dammit.

  • Pack up the house, change address (to a rented PO BOX), cancel utilities, clean house, move into hotel in town (can't wait for that one she said sarcastically)

Three Weeks Later:



  • Drive to new Duty Station

  • Live in hotel (yes! another hotel in a town I don't know!! Whoo hoo!)

  • Enter the kids in preschool. One that I have not seen, nor do I know where it is.

  • Close on house (that I have not seen, nor do I know where it is)

  • Move and unpack into mystery house.

Four Weeks Later:



  • Open a bottle of Vodka. Drink.


I do not know what is in store for us. And isn't that a grand adventure? (have you been reading me long enough to know when I am being completely, annoyingly sarcastic?) I just hope that the new house, new town, new teachers, new doctors are all ready for us to invade. And I pray that the monster that has been quiet for the last few months (!) does not rear it's unpredictable head as I am trying to start a new life....