So I had the worst dream last night. My husband was killed overseas and they forgot to tell me. Which, now in the light of day, is laughable -- especially to my fellow military wives -- because how like them to forget to tell the wife! But when I was in the midst of the dream, it was horrible. The weight of the grief and the loss of our future was palpable. I remember just walking in circles in my dream trying to understand it all. And then the doorbell rang and he was standing there in a fast food type uniform so, obviously the serious part had given way to the Gatorade I had consumed before sleeping last night.
But I can't shake that feeling of grief. My husband, of course is milking it (when am I going to learn to not tell him dreams where he comes out a hero?). I think a lot of closure is happening right now in my life. I am feeling a bit more settled. I am not in constant wonder if hubby is going to be sent somewhere for months. I feel like my kids are in a safe school. My best friend's husband is finally home from a 15 month deployment. My family is all relatively healthy (if only my parents would stop falling down stairs!) The Monster 'Neath the Skin is a memory that I push out of my head so as to not wake it.
So I guess the dream just needs to dissolve a little more through the day. You know how dreams are...one minute they are messengers of a different outcome- a different world, the next they are excerpts from a short lived show. I just hope tonight's show is a comedy.
