Innocence

When your nine year old is threatened at school repeatedly ...mornings are hell, days are gut-wrenching and nights are tormenting. A truly heartbreaking event -- to watch a child who once loved to go to school, who loved to socialize and had pride in his school, become one of the many kids who are getting bullied.

 I hate the word bully --a word that people glaze over...until it happens to your child. Then the word stops being just a word - it becomes a lifestyle. Bullies damage your child and change our world. They aren't the characters in movies that trip the underdogs, they aren't the 1980's film jocks picking on the nerds....these are CHILDREN inflicting emotional and physical pain on other children. First graders are getting beat up at schools. 9 year olds are being told they will be followed home and watched in their sleep....that their lives will be "ruined." Creepy old men aren't saying or doing these things.  CHILDREN are.  

I have seen my son's personality change. I have witnessed his demeanor morph into someone I don't recognize. MY son. The one person I thought I would know in and out forever...he has changed. 

We have taken steps to ensure this behavior will be stopped at his school --at least directed at him. But who knows what this other child has planned for other kids. I wonder...do these bullying kids "plan?" Do they wake up in the morning and think of new ways to torture their peers? Are these kids born this way? Is it something they learn? 

All I know is since this all came to a "head" last week, I've been worrying about my child's life being threatened. I think "Columbine" (and yes, they are in third grade, but what does this other child have access to at home?) ...I think "suicide" as bullied kids have been known to...I can't even go there. Mostly, I think "What will be next?" and "Who will be next?"

And a part of me cries for this kid...this child...who has been mentally abusing my son for the last three months. He is after all, the same age as my son. Why isn't he being helped? Can he be helped? 

Bullying. Something I never saw coming. Something I never thought much about except I would hit the roof if MY kids ever did anything of the like. Something I thought was just "kids getting picked on." But it isn't. It has escalated far beyond that. It is a behavior befit to grown adults who are usually admonished by society. Threatening to follow my son home, watch him in his sleep and ruin his life? My God. An 8 year old has these words in his vocabulary!

For now, I will be a hawk, circling over my children ready to swoop down on any suspected mite that crosses their path. I am on full alert. I am bristling with the need to protect. 

I will get my son back...but I wonder...will he be the same boy he was four months ago?