Fairy

It's funny how much I miss my wisdom teeth. My tongue keeps poking around back there, trying to feel the hard and bumpy surface that once took up space. Now it is just a bunch of stringy stitches and gum hanging on. Remember the feeling of a loose tooth? Rocking it with your tongue, feeling the sharp edges digging into your gum, the trickle of blood that oozed out of the gap? And then out of the blue, the tooth releases and you have a gaping, smooth and spongy hole in your mouth.

It has been 25 years since I have felt that. I used to get excited for the tooth fairy. A quarter under the pillow and the long wait for the "grown up" tooth to come in. I don't remember being quite as excited to feel the replacement tooth as I was losing the baby tooth.

This time, I am excited for different reasons. I am filled with hope (false hope?) that this loss of teeth will bring relief on a much higher level. I pray that there was some connection between my wisdom tooth and the Trigeminal Neuralgia. Needless to say, I did not have an attack after the extraction. I did have one going into the surgery. In fact, the Oral Surgeon was hesitant to even go through with it since I was having the attack.

I hate to even bring it up, so consider this a whisper: the attack went away as soon as the tooth was pulled out. Granted, I was completely out of it during and post extraction. But so far, no pain on that side.

Does that mean anything? Could it be? Should I even wish upon a tooth? Is there really a tooth fairy that will take the pain away? Oh I can only hope. I can only pray. I can only play with the stringy things attached to my gums, search for the teeth that no longer exist and wait for a miracle.