Dose one

I am so sick of hearing about whiny people who have to leave their kids, wives, husbands for a couple of weeks or a month or some short amount of time. I am being disgruntled I know. I just thought I would get it out there that these people (mostly on "reality" shows that I am sucker enough to watch) are weak and whiny and pathetic. There. Now on to more personal things.


So it has been five days since I gave up my 3 o'clock dose of Neuronten. So far, no pain on my left side. However, and really in this condition that is a horrible word, there has been some on my right. As I have mentioned in the past, this is NOT good. But I keep faith that the reason my right side is giving me a little (note: little) pain is because I am fighting some allergens in the air.


I am going to keep on dropping doses until I am free of all medicine and I can get back to the life I lead before this debilitating condition entered my life. And I have the confidence that I can do this. (not really, but don't tell anyone) Come on body. Come on trigeminal nerve, we can do this! (has it really come to this?)


I am also fighting something else. I am fighting the impulse to tell my husband to not come home when he is scheduled to. I look horrible. I mean, really. I am being a realist here and with the help of several people and their reactions to my current state, I realize that I am a disgusting mess right now and will not be able to look better by the time he is supposed to come home. And I have tried to prepare him for the inevitable by describing what effects the meds have had on me. I have not sent any pictures of me since he has left. And I know he doesn't believe me. But everyone around me knows. They all know that I am a mess. So I feel like going away when he comes home. Isn't that ironic?

So I have some things on my mind. (a crazy trigeminal nerve for one! ha!) But for now, I will wait until Wednesday to drop another dose and do a little dance to ward off any pain. And as for tonight, I will go watch "The Bachlorette" and listen to the beautiful people whine about ridiculous things. This is what my life has come to. Oy.