Jump

Have you ever felt like you were standing on a precipice, ready to make a decision, take that leap, change your life forever? Doesn't it feel like our country is about to do the same thing? The funny (not really) thing is, I don't understand a damned thing that is going on the news. Am I alone here? I know I should be concerned. I know I should know what they are talking about. But all I keep wondering is:

Should I start stock piling food, water, etc in the basement?
Should I start saving aluminum foil like my Mema did since the last "Great Depression?"
Should I really be buying a bunch of things for the new house ( and how like me to finally own a house when all is about to go to hell?!)

Should I be getting a bunch of cash and sticking it in crevices in the walls (or a hole in the ground?)

Is anyone else looking around like me and wondering what is going on here? I don't GET it. I am not a stupid person, but I don't GET it.

I also took another leap this week. I cut out my morning dose of oxcarbazapine. (I finally learned how to spell and say the damned thing and now -- hopefully-- it will be exiting my life!) And of course, like the last ten doses of meds, my teeth started "twinging" a little, but so far I am doing ok with just ibuprofen -- whoo hoo! Three more doses to go and MAYBE I will be meds free.

I will always be suspecting that monster to claw its way into my face again. I will expect it to show up at the worst moment so as to not be totally comfortable in my life -- and at the same time I will be appreciative for not having pain in my life. What a horrible year I have witnessed.

And so I am standing on a precipice, scratching my head, looking around at the world with a perplexed mind, but I am pain free and willing to take that jump into the non-med life.

Even if it is from under the house with my ramen noodles, cash and a big ol' ball of aluminum foil.