Lipstick

I took a big step yesterday. I hired a cleaning lady. As you can surmise...I need the help. But it is a big step because it is a big admission: I can't do this, so you do this. You are officially handing over the mop. I have had cleaning ladies before, some good some really really bad. Good or bad, these ladies know your family better than anyone--even your friends and relatives.

When relatives come over, the house is sparkling (or at least twinkling). When friends stop by, the house is straightened. But the cleaning lady knows how disgusting you and your family members are. She sees the tubs, the toilets, the corners and crevices. The little ice dispenser tray on the front of your fridge. (actually in my case, my sister was able to come to the nasty conclusion that I have no idea how to clean my house by picking up the ice tray. I honestly never even thought about that little thing. I won't describe how it looked. Seriously, I don't even get ice out of there anymore)

And if you have ever stayed home while the cleaning lady/crew are doing their job, it is one of the most uncomfortable days of your life. First of all, you sit there feeling like the laziest person alive. (yes, yes, clean over there....and over here. Hurry up darling, my show is about to come on! ) It is really pathetic.

When I lived in Bratislava, Slovakia I had a wonderful cleaning lady who is now practically a member of our family. But before we became close, I would try to describe using body language what I would like her to do or didn't have to do. After a while I just gave up. She knew what she was doing.

She was a wonderful addition to the family, but I am sure she thought I was nuts. At one point, when she was cleaning the wooden stairs, I was in the kitchen opening a package from the States. In it was a tube of lipstick that I thought would look nice on her. So instead of waiting, I rushed over to her and handed it to her. I said in slow English, "I think this would look great on you!"

She took it, and looking at me, put it on. Right there on the stairs. And then continued to clean the stairs. I stood there in horror. Oh my God. She thinks I want her to wear the lipstick while she cleaned my house. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye while she rubbed the stairs with a rag. I could only imagine what she was thinking. "Okay lady...whatever you want. I always heard Americans were weird."

I was completely embarrassed and felt like an idiot. From there on I didn't give her anything while she was cleaning. I waited until she was done and my husband could translate everything for me.

This time I am going to be out of the house and no gifts for the cleaning lady or her crew. I am comfortable in admitting that the house is too much for me right now. I am fine in paying someone else to handle the cleaning. I'm even okay if they think we are disgusting. I just don't want another person to think we are weird.

Too late, right?