Coins

Isn't it great when you can buy something and suddenly you feel like a grownup? Today I feel like I took a major step in becoming a full blown adult. I bought a fruit basket tower thingy. (Ok, a few steps backwards now...what is that called exactly?) Anyway, I bought it and put it where I have seen it in other people's kitchen and in magazines -- in the corner of a counter. Ok, so it is a little big for my kitchen, and yes, the three apples that I have placed on it are old and spongy and bruised (note to self -- buy prettier fruit and a lot of them) but I feel very adult-like.

Somehow standing behind it as I answer questions my young ones throw at me during dinner I feel empowered. I am Mommy of the Adult World. I can answer anything without swearing and I can cook meals they will eat without complaining because I have the fruit basket tower thingy. (I need to get a superhero outfit with a picture of that basket thingy on the chest.)

I am a little curious why this makes me feel empowered. I even came up with the Jar of Shame as I stood next to the Tower today. Every time I swear I will put money in the Jar of Shame. "But what will we do with the money mommy?" my kids ask me as I peer through the wires of the Tower. "We will buy treats for children who know not to repeat the horrible words Mommy sometimes says" (when she is far away from her power source the Fruit Tower Thingy)

Now don't get me wrong. I am not a constant swearer. Although I do need to curb it a bit. But come on! Take last night for instance. The one year old broke out in hives after feeding himself-- and slopping the food everywhere in the kitchen--so I took him up to the tub. I was feeling pretty good. The other two are starting to take showers now, so I only had one more back breaking kid that I had to bathe. Two more years of this and I am home free in the bath department. Whoo hooo oooohhhhh shit. He pooped in the tub. And pooped some more on me when I picked him up Nooooooooo. Dammit! And some more on the floor. NOOOOOOO SHIT! (My kids are sooooo damaged from living with me) So, the Jar of Shame earned a bunch of coins from last night.

You see, what I need to do is stand by my Fruit Tower Thingy and decompress. I will not swear, I will not yell. I will be a very calm, loving Mommy. I have a Tower in my kitchen. I can do anything. . My kitchen could be in one of those magazines. I am an adult now.

I just have to buy some fresh fruit. Dammit.