The Irony of it All

Unfortunately for me, I "spoke" too soon. I am no longer PAIN FREE BABY. I am FULL OF PAIN BABY. My meds stopped working last night. But I am holding on. I just have to get to Tuesday and I pray that the Neurologist that I am seeing will have a potion to at the very least get a grip on this searing, unstoppable pain.

I just want to pull out all of my teeth. I just want to deaden the nerve that is causing all of this. I just want out of this.

I suppose I will be prodded and poked on Tuesday. I suppose I will be tested for Multiple Sclerosis as well. And that, on top of the hurt, is the part I am most frightened of.

Is there anyone out there like me? I've been waiting for the "Big One" to hit. You know, the illness that will define my life, or the end of it. You know, breast cancer, thyroid issues, some sort of tumor. I wear the pink to support the breast cancer cause, but in a way I wore it to "ward off" the illness. I figured, not consciously mind you...but I think I wore the pink, the red, all of the colors to protect me from whatever it stood for. Subconsciously. Consciously I really do want substantial treatments from the medical community to help the victims of said diseases. But in the waaaaaaaay waaaaay back of my mind, I figure maybe if I wear it...it won't happen to me.

Crazy right? But now....I don't think there is a ribbon for Trigeminal Neuralgia. So, ironically, I couldn't wear it to ward it off. I wonder what color it would be anyway. Probably, it would look like bird poop because it is a very annoying and debilitating condition. Kind of like bird poop on your new car, or your nice sweater. Anyone who has been pooped on knows what I mean. And anyone with this condition (is this a condition or a disease or what?!)definitely knows what I mean. We are dealing with the bird poop of all conditions here folks. Stick that ribbon on your lapel.