This one goes out to all of the military wives out there who suddenly get overcome with sadness, fear and loneliness at or around 9:30PM (or in our language 2130.) Now because we are on duty 24 hours a day with the military brats, we can't exactly show signs of weakness or fear. No, we take it to the showers. Literally. We cry and stomp and just let the hot water run out as our frustrations do. It is our only place to let go without the kids witnessing us.
I have talked to several military wives who attest to this. Where else can we vent? (besides our blogs of course) The windows of our SUVs or minivans are not dark enough. The phone calls that we may get from our husbands are so sporadic and delayed, by the time you actually hear him say "I'm fine...it's you with the hard job" the line is cut. (And to any guy who may be reading this, that line doesn't work. First of all, we know you aren't "fine" and second of all, we know we have the harder job. Stop rubbing it in.)
The "support" groups that are offered are a nice idea, but everyone is so gung-ho about being the strong woman, it is almost like no one wants to fess up to being a crying, sniffling ball of wuss that we are allowed to be from time to time (as long as it takes place in the shower).
When I am having a day like I did today: the kids are fighting every two minutes, (I don't like you anymore and Mommy, so and so pinched me, etc.) the baby is just non-stop crying (why? why? why? I have offered everything to make him stop from Cheerios to his favorite toys and he just keeps going and going), and every single room I just spent a half hour cleaning, the kids go right into and manage to mess up even worse than it looked before I cleaned it. (Does anyone else hate Sundays?) I start imagining my husband and his job.
Now you would think that I would straighten myself up and pull myself together and say, "He's doing a good thing out there, so I must hold up the home front" or something like that. No. I get mad. I get so mad that I want to just punch someone. But then I remember my friends whose husbands are over there for a year and a half. For the third time in a row. I mean do the kids even remember their dads at that point? It is too much.
So I know some strong, resilient, tough women who happen to be military wives and moms. We have our moments, some good, some bad. We wait until the 2100 hour to allow ourselves our weakness to wash off of us and whirl down the drain. Then we wait for the next phone call from our guys whom we may or may not hear before the line gets cut off.
I have talked to several military wives who attest to this. Where else can we vent? (besides our blogs of course) The windows of our SUVs or minivans are not dark enough. The phone calls that we may get from our husbands are so sporadic and delayed, by the time you actually hear him say "I'm fine...it's you with the hard job" the line is cut. (And to any guy who may be reading this, that line doesn't work. First of all, we know you aren't "fine" and second of all, we know we have the harder job. Stop rubbing it in.)
The "support" groups that are offered are a nice idea, but everyone is so gung-ho about being the strong woman, it is almost like no one wants to fess up to being a crying, sniffling ball of wuss that we are allowed to be from time to time (as long as it takes place in the shower).
When I am having a day like I did today: the kids are fighting every two minutes, (I don't like you anymore and Mommy, so and so pinched me, etc.) the baby is just non-stop crying (why? why? why? I have offered everything to make him stop from Cheerios to his favorite toys and he just keeps going and going), and every single room I just spent a half hour cleaning, the kids go right into and manage to mess up even worse than it looked before I cleaned it. (Does anyone else hate Sundays?) I start imagining my husband and his job.
Now you would think that I would straighten myself up and pull myself together and say, "He's doing a good thing out there, so I must hold up the home front" or something like that. No. I get mad. I get so mad that I want to just punch someone. But then I remember my friends whose husbands are over there for a year and a half. For the third time in a row. I mean do the kids even remember their dads at that point? It is too much.
So I know some strong, resilient, tough women who happen to be military wives and moms. We have our moments, some good, some bad. We wait until the 2100 hour to allow ourselves our weakness to wash off of us and whirl down the drain. Then we wait for the next phone call from our guys whom we may or may not hear before the line gets cut off.
2 comments:
My wife and kids put up with this for 30 years (I don't know how/why). My Mother did it for 33 years while my Father was in the Air Force. I salute you. I admire you. Thank you and your family for your service. We do appreciate it. All the best. Mike Lambert
Thank you and your family as well. It is nice to hear from someone who has "been there."
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