High Five

I wonder if God gets tired of his "children" (us) asking questions. You know the kinds of questions we all ask from time to time. Are you listening? Can you give me a miracle? Do you hear our prayers? etc.

Because I am tired of my children asking me impossible questions! I have given up on trying to answer them with any clarity. Now I just stare at them and throw any answer in which I can use a complete sentence. Some samples of the questions I got at 11pm last night from my four year old (who should have been sound asleep -- as should I):

Mommy does Jesus like chocolate bunnys and jelly beans?

My answer: yes, I believe he did. Go to bed.

Why did everyone hold their palms up for Jesus? Were they giving him a high five?

My answer: yes, I believe they were. Go to bed.

Did the Easter Bunny die on the cross too?
My answer: yes he did (just kidding folks)

My answer: no, the Easter Bunny is coming to our house unless you don't go to sleep.

I know, I know. Not the greatest way to handle the situation. I should have brought out the bible or something. But I am tired. Tired of fielding these impossible questions. Here are some more gems from the last week:

Mommy, what is above outer space?

Me: Well...I think it is just gas and matter (my mind is racing at this point...)HEAVEN! Heaven is above outer space! (I was VERY proud I came up with this kid friendly answer)

Did Jesus go to outer space then?

Me: Yes. (My poor kid. I can see his mental image of Jesus in a space suit flying by the moon to get to Heaven. I have ruined him.)

Why did the Roman Soldiers kill Jesus? Isn't Daddy a soldier? Is he Roman?

Me: (internally whining...why does he do this when we are in the car and I am trapped) Ok. They weren't very nice and they didn't like Jesus talking to all of the people of Rome. Yes, Daddy is a soldier. No he is not Roman. (where is this going?)

Mommy, is Daddy fighting the bad guys in Iraq because they don't like Jesus talking to all of the people?

Me: well... (wow. my kid is a genius! he just summed up two thousand years worth of strife in the middle east! ) you see...Daddy is....

Mommy can I watch a show?

End conversation. Thank God. And by the way God, while we are at it, thanks for listening to all of my questions. I am sure they aren't easy to answer either.